PAGE STATUS: This page is misplaced in the “Personal Stuff” menu. It was at one time somewhat personal, but I now regard it as a normal “About this website” page.
LAST UPDATE: December 27, 2020
Batshit crazy moments
At any given moment when the weight of exploring the unknown for a highly critical audience becomes more than I can bear and I cry out for help in a room that is forever empty and silent except for the echoes of my rage, I have what I have come to characterize as a batshit crazy moment. Oh no! Run for safety! I feel one coming on now…follow those bouncing balls!
No one is going to kill me
During the years I pursued this knowledge, I met some highly intelligent individuals who think what I am doing is dangerous. Perhaps this is so, but I do not think so, and the following bulleted list are my reasons why I think so.
- FLY SWATTERS: We do in fact live in the end time. I am certain of this. This changes the dynamics of everything. Had I attempted this 20 or 30 years ago during the infancy of the Internet, well then, that would be a different story. Right now these people are in such a heightened state of readiness and their control of the Western world is so incontestable, that An Apocalyptic Synthesis is just another completely inconsequential website fully covered by their highly successful and deviously sophisticated “conspiracy theory” and “flat earth” redux propaganda campaigns specifically designed to suppress the successful dissemination of information which by its very nature is implausible to the average person. In short, they are way too busy to even notice the likes of me.
- MUTUAL RESPECT: Nevertheless, I tread on sacred ground and therefore show them healthy respect. I did not do so initially and the remnants of those earlier times when I too thought they were evil still exist on this website. Usually, when I encounter this, it is removed, but in a few cases, I elected to let it remain. In some ways, developing this website has changed my opinion of these people so radically that I have become their advocate. You will find evidence for this all throughout the website. And in that heartfelt respect, I feel a sense of protection. Given their crowning achievement of completing the vault profound both Virgil and I long(ed) to see, the stunningly beautiful Cheesman dam, and the “why in the hell is this thing so big” Denver International Airport, it is incomprehensible for me to believe such a small act of magnanimity is beyond their reach.
- FACILITATING COMMUNICATION: The progeny of Jove communicate to those people I choose to think of as the 144,000 through mass media. There exists the possibility in that sense that I am somewhat useful to them. I am saying what they cannot because my one-man play is on a much smaller stage.
- COURT JESTER: And finally (this is my favorite), I imagine they are curious just how far I can go with this website. It’s difficult to entertain someone who is waiting for the world to end. I may fill that niche.
- THE FINAL SOLUTION: In the end, this is the Internet. These guys have already aptly demonstrated to me that they can do as they please. This website and every backup for it on WordPress.com and my personal computer could be irretrievably erased in a heartbeat. This is the only consequence of what I am doing that I have ever seriously entertained. I am fully aware of this potentiality. It would confirm for me everything I am saying is true and in some very meaningful ways free me to prepare myself for what is about to happen. As it is now, forgoing income to continue this work has put me in the position of thinking, “How many men with their family do I need on MonJeau the day after who have me to think for the warning before all I need is the shirt on my back?”
But kill me? That’s ridiculous. Not at this time. For me to even entertain such a thought has always felt faintly delusional, something rooted in a helplessly egotistical state of mind. Nevertheless, I remain deeply and philosophically opposed to their secrecy. You will hear me say this time and again on this website, had this knowledge been shared with all of mankind, it is self-evident to me that we would already be off this troubled planet. That is where I fault the progeny of Jove
Jesus answered him, I spake openly to the world; I ever taught in the synagogue, and in the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret have I said nothing.
Destiny and Fate
In the end, I have come to regard this website as my destiny. Everything I have suffered in this life has prepared me for this work. Everything. Every little aspect and detail of my entire life has contributed in some small way to make it possible for me to do this work. This is clear to me now. If the Georgia Guidestones monument and Walt Disney Pictures’ Tomorrowland movie are what I believe them to be and I make it to Monjeau on time, this website and the thought behind it will determine my fate also.
The stuff on page № 100. Madman Across the Water (the author) is real. I’m glad I wrote it when I did (years ago), because I would not write it now. I thought this was all about me in the beginning. It isn’t. Nevertheless, I had a brief encounter with an alien race. I look back on that time in late 2012 as would someone who misses a deceased lover. The “thing” was still in me. I had extraordinary energy back then which lasted for about six months. If you want to know why I have walked away from a high-paying professional career as a computer programmer to work on a website most people dismiss as religious delusion, try to imagine what someone would do if they thought they could revive such a long lost lover. I think these “people” are here for a reason. I live with the expectation of seeing them again. In an encounter that lasted only minutes, I have never before or since been in the presence of someone I felt so sure understood me. This is also why I do not fear the progeny of Jove. I have met their betters.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
108 Pages and the Apocalyptic Synthesis Library (ASL)
The basic composition of my work is as follows:
This website consists of exactly 108 pages in addition to what I call the Apocalyptic Synthesis Library (ASL), which are reference documents I deem important enough to maintain my own local copies so as not to risk losing them. Some of them are truly irreplaceable.
Respect for the truth: What does “Ama Llulla” mean?
What does Ama Llulla mean?
It was one of the three fundamental laws of the Inca Empire: “Ama Sua. Ama Llulla. Ama Quella.” Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not be lazy. After four years of living in Central and South America, I would settle for two out of three: Do not steal; Do not lie. “My law” is, Do not pretend to be something you are not. Do not be pretentious. Honesty is all Earth lacks to become a paradise.
This is just another way of thinking about the material presented on this website. The process of discovery has been a long one for me. Along the way, one of the most important lessons I learned and continue to learn to this very day is that this is not all about me. Nevertheless, earth’s population is fast approaching eight billion people and I stake the claim to be the first among them to make the following discoveries, all of which in one way or another are related to the end time.
To this list, I would like to add my most recent discovery, which is that the Freemason 33° is a reference to Sir Francis Bacon in simple English gematria using the 24-letter Elizabethian alphabet in which there are no letters J or U. The Baconians have of course known this for centuries and routinely refer to the 2+1+3+14+13 BACON encoding as the “simple cipher,” but I believe no one else has publically stated with absolute conviction that this, and this alone, is the meaning of the Freemason 33°. And that the Freemason 32° is the 32 years that separated the supernovae SN 1572 in the Cassiopeia constellation and SN 1604 in Ophiuchus, both of which occurred in Sir Francis Bacon’s lifetime. These two events, as discussed in SN 1604 and the Origin of the Rosicrucians, set into motion a series of events that have reverberated down through the past 400 years and helped define the world in which you and I live. Achieving clarity of the meaning of the Freemason 32° and 33° degrees was surprisingly something of an epiphany for me, the moment I learned some measure of respect for the “secret” societies because of the level of misdirection involved in obfuscating these meanings for so long a time. Of course, I could be wrong. But I am not. The “JAM” on what I call the Sacred 216 Cube of the Georgia Guidestones and everything else I have learned over the past eight years assures me of this.
- The Maya Long Count is 2160 orbits of Jupiter
- Why the CIA murdered JFK
- “…and the winters will be severe” was removed from Luke 21:11 in the Bible
- Mary Baker Eddy’s hidden, 23-word warning of the coming Earth crustal displacement
- Berosos Caldaeus perfectly describes David Talbot’s polar configuration of the planets in Naturales quaestiones
- The Georgia Guidestones are precisely 108 miles away from not one but three Masonic Temples, including the Atlanta Masonic Temple that burnt down in 1950
- The earth-shattering significance of the Walt Disney Pictures’ Tomorrowland movie and to what the working title 1952 refers
- The people Virgil and I call the progeny of Jove morph from one organization entity to another as they move stealthily through history
- Mainstream, “consensus” science and academia are mathematically insane
- The coming perfect storm of GCRs as a consequence of Earth being outside of Saturn’s protective magnetosphere during the Age of Aquarius when the Sun weakens
- Both The Book of Daniel and The Revelation were written by the secret societies of their day
- Fort “Dodge,” Iowa and R.C. Christian deception about who was behind the Georgia Guidestones
- The true nature of the Civil War which for any thinking individual is fully and completely confirmed in the hidden meaning behind the deliberately inaccurate weight of the granite in the Georgia Guidestones
- Why the number 13 is so important to the secret societies
- First person to fully understand the significance of September 23, 2017 and 923 predictive programming
- First person to realize the Maya Long Count end date of December 16, 2013, a mystifying five days before the winter solstice, was pointing us to the Great Wayab of five years
- First person to expose “flat earth” as the new CIA “conspiracy theory” intended to discredit everything YouTube
- First person to find Donald Duck in the pupil of the Eye of Providence
- First person to correctly understand the Skull and Bones 322
- First person to correctly characterize the Denver International Airport (DEN) as the reception center for what Virgil called the vault profound
- First person to precisely date the biblical Deluge at April 20, 3105 BC
- First person to understand the timing of September 11, 2001 and why 911 is the emergency telephone number in the U.S.A.
- First person to understand the G in Freemason symbolism refers to granite
- First person to grasp that the Cheesman Dam is the water supply for the vault profound
- First person to understand why the Voyager satellites were launched in 1977
- First person to make the connection between Guidestone Road and the Ophiuchus constellation
The five fundamental principles of An Apocalyptic Synthesis
You need to temporarily suspend your incredulity long enough to give yourself a fighting chance to internalize the existence of a completely hidden world as postulated by An Apocalyptic Synthesis, one I dare say is so foreign to most of you that it might best be described as an alternate reality.
To expedite your learning, over a period of years I identified these five fundamental principles.
Study these if you ever hope to understand the progeny of Jove and the world in which you live. I had to learn them on my own. Think of me as having charted the waters.
The Five Fundamental
An Apocalyptic Syntheses
The progeny of Jove is very deliberately hiding the truth about our past. The history of our planet is one catastrophe after another. These catastrophes occur with such frequency that humanity is more or less in a perpetual state of amnesia. It is only during relatively brief periods of respite such as the past 2,600 years that we begin to think we must be a new species, that civilization somehow magically sprang into existence around 3100 BC, and the pièce de résistance, that the universe is a mere 13.7 billion years ago. This is infantilism. The universe is as timeless as it is infinitely large. The sad truth is that we live on the only inhabitable planet in a Solar System that is somehow fatally flawed. We are caught in an endless cycle of planetary catastrophes. No matter where you live, the landscape around you is in reality the aftermath of the unimaginable forces unleashed during one of these catastrophes. The surface of the entire planet is reshaped during these worldwide catastrophes and more or less remains frozen in place until the next. There is the reason why Immanuel Velikovsky was intellectually savaged in a manner that really can be compared to the crucifixion of Christ Jesus. As discussed in the section entitled Uniformitarianism (or Gradualism) is a Lie designed to Lull the Masses to Sleep on page № 1. Our entirely fabricated Reality, the lie of uniformitarianism (or gradualism) is the primary mechanism by which we are lulled to sleep. To the extent that the purpose of this lie is to blind us to the reality of our impending doom, I prefer to think of uniformitarianism (or gradualism) and the theory of evolution as weaponized thought. Even the relatively recent and well-documented destructions of the comet Venus (known to most of us as the Exodus and Late Bronze Age Collapse) and Mars are being hidden from us. Why? Why is it so important that the general public not understand the catastrophic nature of this planet? Why is our history a concoction of lies? The answer to that question is frightening. Because it is about to happen again, but on a much larger, 9500 BC-like, total-destruction-of-the-planet scale. The events of our Solar System’s recent past are outlined on page № 36. The Hidden Catastrophic History of Our Solar System.
EVERYTHING IS ONE THING
Here I must of necessity push your imagination to the uttermost boundaries. You must forget about the world you in which you now live and have known since childhood. Leave it behind you. It is anentirely fabricated realitynot unlike the one portrayed in the Matrix movie and intended to keep you asleep until the last moment. Sometimes I wish I were writing a script for a movie, but what I am sharing with you on this website is real. It took me over half a decade to realize “Everything is one thing,” which I quickly adopted as the motto for An Apocalyptic Synthesis. This is a difficult concept to convey. For now, let us think in terms of the Matrix movie. It is a good analogy. What I find difficult to convey is that what I am about to say is not an exaggeration. For now, the Matrix movie analogy is as close as I can come to make you understand the stark reality of what I am about to say. Everything in your life, including all of recorded history, mainstream, consensus science and academia, politics, religion, everything in one way or another is about the coming Earth crustal displacement or axial tilt. You just don’t see it right now. Nor can you awaken to this reality as if from a bad dream. It takes time. But I promise you, the end of this road is the realization that you have been living in the equivalent of the Matrix computer-simulated reality your entire life. As suggested by the Georgia Guidestones, the reality is an impending planetary catastrophe the year of which, if not the exact date, is being unmistakably projected by the Walt Disney Pictures’ Tomorrowland movie. That’s right. Another movie. This is how the people the Latin poet Virgil and I call the progeny of Jove communicate to their rank and file. This movie as well as the Georgia Guidestones were planned for over a period of decades, not years.
ALL IS NUMBER
“All is number” is a famous quote from Pythagoras. I do not entirely agree with it, but I do understand and deeply appreciate what it means to the progeny of Jove. It is their religion and if you ever hope to understand them, you must learn to think as they do. Let me say this again for emphasis. In speaking with my co-religionists and more importantly in the innermost sanctum of my own thought, I have come to characterize sacred numbers such as 216 and Phi as understood by the progeny of Jove as being “How God is expressed in numbers.” This is what you need to understand. I can show you what I have learned. I can tell you things like the runtime for the first two Matrix movies was 2:16 minutes, there were 216 above-ground nuclear tests, there are 2160 orbits of Jupiter in the Maya Long Count, there are exactly 216 x 144 = 31,104 verses in the Bible, that our system of timekeeping is not the invention of the Mesopotamians but in fact is based on the 60 digit Fibonacci repeat sequence (Lucien Khan) and is doubtless used throughout the galaxy if not the entire universe, and that Phi (1.618) is as close as you can come to the Mind of God as expressed in numbers, that all of nature exudes the Golden Spiral, etc., but I cannot make you reflect on the profound significance of these numbers. No one can. In the secret societies of yore, this was referred to as being initiated. I will say this though, by way of offering guidance to Christians who may think what I am saying borders on sacrilicious, for me the line between Phi and “God is Love” has become blurred. Both represent a natural harmony that underpins our seemingly troubled existence. I live in both of these worlds now. And that my friend is the level of respect you must show these men if you hope to ever understand them. Having said this, the reason why it is so important to understand the essential meaning of “All is number” is that numbers are their greatest weakness. This is what I mean when I say “I understand them better than they understand themselves.” They are inexorably compelled to numerically sign their work. This is how each generation leaves its mark on history for the brotherhood in future generations. Once you fully understand this, you can track them with the skill of the Shadow Wolves. Numbers are therefore their greatest weakness, an unguarded backdoor through which you can enter into their hidden world of symbolism completely undetected. Examples of their numerical signatures can be found throughout all of recorded history and pervade this website, but the single greatest example of the progeny of Jove numerically signing their work is September 11, 2001. The full significance of that numerical signature so frightened me when I first discovered it that I do not discuss it on publicly accessible pages. Learning to recognize these numerical signatures and developing an appreciation for the essential meaning of “All is number” does not require a knowledge of advanced mathematics as practiced by the mathematically insane followers of Albert Einstein discussed in the last bulleted item in this list of The Five Principles of an Apocalyptic Synthesis. Nor does it have anything whatsoever to do with numerology, gematria, or any other such nonsense. I have made great headway in reducing this knowledge to its simplest possible terms, thereby making it accessible to everyone, including everything from the old Skull and Bones 322, the even more antiquated Freemason Square and Compasses, to the more modern corporate logos and the design of the new One World Trade Center. The truth is the meaning of such symbolism has always been deceptively simple. The progeny of Jove has always counted on the pretentious, pompous, and self-aggrandizing character of most men, what I like to think of as their sophistry, to hide the simplicity of their symbolism. Nothing exhibits this more than the G that was introduced into Freemasonry symbolism upon their arrival on the shores of North America. It means granite. It has always meant granite and is a reference to the Pikes Peak batholith. I dispose of all the pretense. Subjects such as Phi, the Fibonacci sequence, and the Golden Spiral on page№ 75. Phi and the Fibonacci Sequence are mathematical Expressions of Universal Intelligence are illustrated with pictures and discussed in such a way that they can be understood by any intelligent child. The point of sacred numbers is not the math. It’s the fact that the intelligence they represent is shared throughout the universe. We are already more a part of the galactic community than you may realize.
THE MATHEMATICALLY INSANE
Albert Einstein with his incorrect emphasis on gravity is to mainstream, “consensus” science and academia what the Nicene Creed was to the Nazarenes. These people are mathematically insane. That’s my phrase and I am very proud of it. It took me years to see through their Wizard of Oz curtain of inscrutable mathematical formulas scribbled all over a chalkboard to the naked reality of their warped, insanely egotistical minds. Sometimes I wish people were even just a little bit aware that what they regard as science and academia is mostly “educated” guessing. Let is be perfectly clear on one thing. Everything they think about cosmology, starting with the Big Bang and “black holes” to their latest flights of fancy, dark matter and gravitational waves, are mathematical constructs which have no correspondence to reality whatsoever. My most recent eye-opening revelation is that this extends to archeology too, perhaps even more so. These guys are picking up pieces of broken pottery and divining our entire history. Whoever digs up the most pieces of broken pottery wins the contest and earns the right to divine what happened in the past. I think I’ll go to my grave remembering the first time this occurred to me. The whole thing is scary really. The men who understand our past, present, and future are led by David Talbott of The Thunderbolts Project™ and Wallace Thornhill of the Electric Universe(who I believe was the first person to use the term “consensus science,” replacing the more familiar “mainstream science”). I routinely refer to the latter as the Electric Universe school of thought. These guys are truly amazing. They are discussed throughout this website, but particularly on page№ 82. David Talbott and Wallace Thornhill without whom I would not understand Immanuel Velikovsky. My advice to parents is to pull their children out of that overpriced college or university and make them start watching all of the free YouTube videos on the ThunderboltsProject channel and educating themselves on websites such as the Khan Academy. Is that piece of paper really worth financially enslaving your child (or yourself)? I am slowly categorizing The Thunderbolts Project™ videos on page № 59. The “NO” Page for the Mathematically Insane.
MIND-BOGGLING, MULTIGENERATIONAL PLANNING
The order in which these five principles are listed does not reflect the order in which I learned them, but rather the order in which I realized how critically important they are for anywho who hopes to ever understand An Apocalyptic Synthesis. Mind-boggling, multigenerational planning has been evident to me from the very beginning. The last of The Five Principles of An Apocalyptic Synthesis I learned is actually the first in the list. Realizing after years of study that “Everything is one thing” is what provided the impetus to create this list for others who would follow after me. The two are very closely related. What we are talking about here is the passage of time for a people who have been waiting 2,600 years for one day.
All of history awaits this one day. The Bible calls it “the day of the Lord,” but religion is not a factor in what is about to happen. The cause is electromagnetic, as is everything in the physical universe.
A quick note about the myriad YouTube videos on this website.
In my earnest opinion, approached intelligently, Google’s YouTube website is the new Library of Alexander. Yes, of course, you must filter out the noise and “flat earth” videos, but underneath all that dross is access to information that cannot be found anywhere else, including books and magazines. I have spent countless hours selecting the YouTube videos featured on this website, including especially those on page № 105. My YouTube library. For every YouTube video I decided to share, dozens of others were considered. The filtering process is at times arduous.
In addition, I have learned how to make clips that isolate the video of interest to my readers. This is a very time-consuming process. Note that there may be some full videos still on the website from before that should be clipped.
Why no videos of my own?
I could turn my stuff into videos and play the YouTube pied piper, deluding myself and others into believing that I am making a difference because instead of the handful of people who regularly visit this website there would be thousands or maybe even tens of thousands watching the videos. It’s tempting. The main problem is that this is a learning process for me. I am not just writing in public. I am thinking out loud in public. And making videos slows me down to a crawl. I know because I tried. I have made four so far. They can be found on the No. 5, The Third Prime in Life channel.
I doubt I will make another because what I have learned is that videos are entertainment more than anything else. Even those that claim to convey important knowledge are really just flashing a bunch of images up on the screen. No real learning is happening in large part because the watcher has made no commitment to learning. Reading and writing is how knowledge is conveyed, not watching a series of images flashed on a screen. Right now I believe I have a handful of people who are following my work. That’s enough for me. I know who and what I am.
This is my favorite self-made video and by far the most creative. I hated this woman (my elementary school principal). And she hated me. The context for understanding the content of this video is a section entitled Appendix A, Lessons from Elementary School on page № 100. Madman Across the Water (the author).
As of this writing on September 10, 2020, I committed to phasing out my use of Christ Jesus. The name Jesus carries way too much religious baggage, and, as far as I am concerned, serves only to alienate non-religious readers.
To the extent to which I must necessarily refer to this man because he is a central figure in the study of eschatology, I shall henceforth refer to him the Nazarene. As for phonetic spellings such as Yehoshua, Yahushua, Yeshua, and the like, I would rather use Christ Jesus. These names are not a solution to the problem for me. I think they are worse. Here I would note that the original followers of the man commonly called by his Greek Jesus were referred to the Nazarenes before the Roman bastardization of “Christianity.” And to this very day, the Jews refer to him as the Nazarene. For more discussion on this subject, see Nazarenes and Ebionites by James D. Tabor, Professor of Christian Origins and Ancient Judaism in the Department of Religious Studies at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.
I do my own fact checking
As improbable as it may sound to some readers, I am very protective of my work in the sense that I insist on authenticating all of the data I use myself, especially because I do a lot of original research on the Internet.
For example, it was tempting for me to make reference to the so-called “Illuminati pyramid” (which looks identical to the thirteen-step pyramid on the one-dollar bill) reported to have been found in Ecuador in 1984 and currently in the possession of a man named Germán Villamar. But I cannot find any reputable sources for this story, and even if I did it is too easy for me to imagine this is a stunt whose purpose may be nothing more than to generate tourism.
I lived in Ecuador for over two years. I am glad I did because the whole time I was there I studied the Andes and can report with great confidence that they are catastrophic deposits, nothing like the craggy mountains in the Western United States. For whatever reason, the Pacific megatsunami is considerably weaker when it makes contact with the South American coastline compared to what evidently happens in North America.
On the surface, the landscape more or less freezes in place between these global catastrophes. Underground, the layers of silt harden into sedimentary rock. Then thousands of years later the process starts all over again and those layers of sedimentary rock are smashed to pieces when the next megatsunami wave impacts the coastline. Those shattered pieces are tumbled further inland each time. This is when they become rounded rocks of various sizes in a process similar to what happens with river rocks, only much faster. Here are some I had delivered to my house in the Yunguilla Valley since I left Ecuador.
The price of learning all this was high, both financially and emotionally because the Ecuadorian people are a study in baseness when money is involved. I left the United States of America seeking a “happier and more honest people.” I returned determined to do what I could to enlighten my own people because now I do not think there are any better in the world. Ecuador is a moral wasteland.
I cannot entirely discount these stories because of Father Crespi’s artifacts, but if you take the time to read The Truth About Father Crespi and His Missing Artifacts Finally Revealed, which is the best account of these artifacts available, you will see that Eric von Däniken was doing what the Ecuadorian do so well, lying, cheating, stealing, and deceiving. Anything for a buck. And if you watch the videos carefully, you will see that even Father Crespi seems intent on overlooking certain obvious facts in favor of the Babylonian explanation for the origin of some of those “artifacts.” In short, it’s bullshit.
This is an art studio
For most of my adult life, through countless and varied experiences, I have kept the same small print of Vincent van Gogh’s De slaapkamer somewhere in my bedroom to remind me what is important.
I paint with words and ideas, but you are nonetheless in an artist’s studio witnessing 108 works in progress
So let me be perfectly clear about something…
If I were a graphic artist, my studio would be a mess with paint supplies strewn about in piles that resemble a dirty alleyway more than an art studio. But in amongst all this mess would be fine sturdy hardwood easels of obvious antiquity in a huge, very old brick warehouse with massive columns and beams and industrial-sized windows everywhere, full of 108 canvases of all different sizes and in various stages of completion. A few of the canvases are so spectacularly enormous that standing in front of them are individuals in mid-step, looking up and staring as if frozen in time, leaving some visitors wondering if they are not perhaps part of the exhibit.
The reader must look beyond all the mess of works in progress. Really. To say that it is a difficult subject to write about is just words. The reality cannot be so easily communicated. I am constantly caught between different worlds. And a lesson I continue to learn until this very day is that it is not about me. There are pages I long to rewrite so that they reflect my current understanding and style of writing. At any given time, you may be reading something I wrote yesterday or five years ago. Sometimes I read something I wrote years ago and cringe. Those are the hardest moments because I cannot apologize and explain myself to an unknown number of no doubt thoughtful individuals who read such passages long ago and left never to return. What I experience in those moments can only be described as pain and deep regret, not because I made an ass out of myself but because they could not see what I do and the fault is mine. Yet I continue to develop the work in public. Why? Because it demands honesty of me. All I can ask is that, if you have found something that arouses your curiosity or gives you pause, that you return to my art studio from time to time to monitor the progress of those works.
I don’t want to be your guru and I have distanced myself from any and all organized religions. I just want you to give the truth I speak a fighting chance because either I am truly batshit crazy or we have precious little time left. I would suggest to you, in all humility, neither of us can afford to let our pride get in the way of what I am trying to accomplish with An Apocalyptic Synthesis.
This analogy could not more accurately describe how I feel about writing (read thinking) in public. But now having said all of this, allow me to add that I do not like dainty or narrow-minded people in my studio. I would rather they left feeling morally and intellectually superior to me and complaining about how difficult it was to navigate the endless piles of garbage on the floor. This, too, is why I work in public.
Is this clear enough?
I was not meant for this world.
I do not like it.
It is too small for me
I am only here because of what is about to happen.
Believe me when I say this.