№ 103. Music and Metaphysics

PAGE STATUS: This page is just for fun. It has become a dumping ground for all the crazy stuff I have written through the years and is in bad need of cleaning up.
LAST UPDATE: May 21, 2021

My destiny

I have come to believe that writing this website is my destiny.

Every man should know what it feels like to meet his destiny face-to-face.

For one in ten thousand readers, that may be happening right now. You can trust me. Bury yourself in my work and listen with your whole heart. I am not making all of this up. It is not my imagination. Exposing what is happening was the reason I was born into this world. 

Destiny is all

                                  –Uhtred, son of Uhtred

The real madmen

I longed for a brother in my youth, but it was not to be. My three half-brothers (no one except my dead mother knows who fathered me) could not understand me. When this Elton John album was released in 1971 and I learned the words to every song on it and started singing alone in my bedroom, their consternation grew by leaps and bounds. Growing up with these animals taught me everything I needed to know about this world. People are small.

Elton John
is large.

Madman Across the Water was the last of the songs on the LP I learned, but it became very special to me—a subtle message to my half-brothers to keep their distance, that I was only passing through their sad little reality.

I love you

You saved me in my youth with the promise of something more. You were my Christian Science as a child. The Madman Across the Water YouTube video runtime is 5:58, a number that incorporates my birthday. [Warning: awkward segway coming.] Page 558 also happens to be the first page in the chapter named Apocolypse in which Mrs. Eddy followed in the footsteps of the Book of Daniel and The Revelation by using The Revelation to encode the year of the apocalypse she learned while married to a Royal Arch Freemason. Were that not enough, she did so in almost the exact same cryptological style as the Bard. I was born for this job.

Maybe it’s just more delusion—but I am starting to think she really did know.

That was then. This is now.

I love the cops because they can differentiate between the truth and a lie. This fact of life saved my ass more than once. In Florida, at the young age of 18, I was framed for the robbery of a convenience store where I worked. I was interrogated. It lasted only minutes and subsequent to that the management of the entire convenience store chain was jailed. In Baltimore, after a fight to the death in which I cut up a young black man pretty bad, two Irish cops talked to me for about three minutes. I was rushed to the hospital and treated like a hero for defending a young black woman who I never met and did not know. She was being brutally beaten in the lobby of the YMCA where I lived. One of the best guys I knew in my youth became a cop even though his oldest brother spent most of his adult life in penitentiaries. I was in over 300 fights in my youth, only one of which I started. He became a catholic preacher. I don’t take shit off anyone.

I am from the streets of Baltimore.

I didn’t have a black friend. All I knew was black guys.

I grew up in the Meyerhoff listening to the BSO and sitting across the aisle from the head of the Jewish mafia.

I really liked that guy.

And I love good music.

That includes Eminem and this guy.

Then one day a man named Eugene Skarie sent me to Principia College.

The Christian Scientists had found me. They said I had been thrown on the trash heap of society.

Then they threw me back on the trash heap.

Hope springs external.

After a stint in the U.S. Army, I was working in Dallas, Texas soldering copper pipes on high-rise office buildings. One day I came home and someone had stolen my stereo. I called the cops. A single officer arrived not long after. Like every Texas cop I’ve ever met, he exuded character. So when he saw my apartment was empty, he looked genuinely perplexed and said in a noticeably empathetic tone, “They took everything.” I had to explain to him that all I owned was the stereo and a bed. They did not take the bed. Music has always been my best friend. After he left, I laid on the living room floor and wrote these words:

A madness haunts me
and much abounds
in winds of lavender
and lilac smells.
G.W. on the piano
And me, in perfect hell.

The winds of lavender is a reference to Purple Haze. I was a real fan of Jimi Hendrix. And lilac smells is a reference to Lilac Lane, the name of a street at Principia College where I went from heating cans of beans on the radiator at the downtown YMCA on West Franklin Street in Baltimore, Maryland to cavorting with rich Christian Science kids from California for three years. (Forty years later, I can tell you with some measure of certainty, they were as fake as their parents.) These were the two extremes of my life. G.W. is George Winston. I started listening to him during one of the happiest times of my whole life, as a U.S. Army soldier in Augsburg, Germany. So you see I even remember things in terms of the music I was listening to at the time. So when someone stole my stereo, it hurt. I am a rebel spirit. I came, I saw, and I radioed my coordinates back to God and ordered a fire mission on my own position. I was not made for this place.

This is the last page of
a three-page dedica-
tion from The Adam
and Eve Story: The History of Cataclysms
by Chan Thomas
. I so
know what this guy is
talking about

Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood, let alone believed by the masses.


The average person reads this quote from Plato as if it were a platitude, not understanding the profundity of what he is saying. We live our lives on the outside looking in, never able to enter therein. Oh my God, what a price we pay!

Platonem ferunt didicisse Pythagorea omnia

Thoughts on suicide

William Shakespeare (the playwright, not the actor) was the most respected progeny of Jove since Pythagoras, and I can assure you his name was…

Sir Francis Bacon
33 lines

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?—To die,—to sleep,—
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to,—’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die,—to sleep;—
To sleep: perchance to dream:—ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despis’d love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,—
The undiscover’d country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns,—puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought;
And enterprises of great pith and moment,
With this regard, their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.

Before the world took hold of this body of mine and tortured it to their delight until finally, I slashed my wrist. Shakespeare was right. It’s a hard thing to ask of yourself. We live forever. Thinking you have some part in that decision is something that actually should make you feel embarrassed—that in a world composed of ONLY consciousness,—the ONLY expression of which is through,—take a moment…

Sentient beings

I would define sentient beings as conscious, intelligent beings, but not consciousness itself. We are individualized expressions of the one consciousness. In other words, we are made in the image and likeness of the fabric of the universe. We all got da same brain.


As I was saying, you really should be embarrassed to imagine you possess such power as to influence the very nature of being.

You have no say so in the matter.

The essence is that which is unchangeable, which was, is, and shall forever be. The mystery of life itself. Whence cometh life? Matter or Mind? (Here I must point out that some people think Mind and matter can co-exist. I am not one of them. That is ground I cannot enter. When I look in that direction all I see is darkness.) As a choice for what constitutes the stuff of life, both matter and Mind involve riddles. In the case of matter, it is the chicken and the egg problem that the materialists cannot solve and will never be able to solve because they live in a hall of mirrors. But the metaphysician faces an even more mysterious question. What is behind Mind? But unlike our foe, we can say “nothing” without seriously weakening our argument. Therein lies the Truth also.

“I am that I am” requires no explanation

Oh but there’s the rub. One wants to ask, What was there before Mind? And this is how we define Essence. There was nothing there before. Neither in space nor in time. Something had to be there in the beginning, right? Yes, we seem attached by nature itself to this perspective. The metaphysician can cope with this problem. The materialist cannot.

defining nothingness

We demand that you define nothing. Whatever your definition of nothing after everything else that cannot be the source or essence of life is stripped away, What is left? Does it have a name? There is and can be only one answer. Consciousness—namely, the consciousness trying to solve the problem. That is all that is left after trying to solve the chicken and the egg problem. You follow me? I doubt it because this is real religion. This is what you must do before insisting on the presence of harmony. You must grapple with your definition of reality.

consciousness as essence

And what are we? The only thing we can say for sure about the thinker trying to solve the problem is that it is conscious. So consciousness is the definition of nothingness. When you strip away everything else, what is left is consciousness, thought. We exist in thought, and in thought only. How could it be otherwise? 

Hence, God is best thought of as the fabric of the universe (no caps required).

If I have your attention. This is me. Got it? Look at what the world has done to me. This reality needs to be exchanged. Wink. Wink. Let me tell you a story; I really am batshit crazy,—but we live in a world of opposites. The world is almost incomprehensible to me. If everyone would just be honest, all of our problems would melt away over time. Lying tears at the fabric of being. Strive for honesty in your life. 

This actually is a very old video of me in the Georgia backwoods while visiting my kinfolk down there. That’s my cousin Virgil in the background nodding his head. This is my family. This is what holds us like chains to the boy inside of ourselves. I’m the little kid swinging his arms to the music next to the tree at the beginning of the video.) Whoever choreographed this is a genius. No kidding.

What you are about to experience is called visual poetry. I’m writing in your head. Now see if you can pick out me and Virgil. Both scenes are close together and near the beginning so pay attention. First, there’s me playing with my friend at the creek and then Virgil nodding behind the guitarists.

This is what happened to the Jacobean Brotherhood. This is what they evolved into after the not-so-civil war. Who would of thunk it was happening in the JawGA backwoods? With these guys at my back, I fear nothing, least of which is death. I’m all in.

The Bard says Hi. (I hear voices, too. In fact, they are screaming at us. Here is the gist of the matter. Are we really the last?)

Smart move.

Now for the rhythmic rap showdown in which there is not only a white audience but challengers for the new rhythmic rap crown. For taking things to a whole new level by introducing what sounds like a  Gregorian chant in Chillin in The Backwoods (see above),—one that freely flows from the Jacobean hearts they know not,—No. 5 says the winner is…

I haven’t lost myself in music so much since 50 Cent surfaced without M&M.

In an effort to shorten the delivery, they lost the rythm. They lost me, too. But I never lost faith in them. I was born a Motown baby. I knew they would come around.

And Dr. Dre followed suit.

The Music Calvary

The musicians are awakened to entertain us and as instruments of communication, but they pay a heavy price for that privilege. Too high a price if you ask me. 

M&M flashing 666 in the above Dr. Dre music video. Everyone is running from something.

For musical balance and just because I can.

Here’s what I think. The time for churches is over. Organized goodness? Now there’s an idea ripe for abuse. They’re like little sideshows. Life is the stage. Do you’re best acting in life. Liven things up a bit for the other actors. Do the unexpected. Do not draw geographical borders around that which is the best part of you. I’ve met some of the best actors and actresses on those sideshow stages. I fought on their turf to learn more about the religious heart. The buildings are holding us back now. Let them die. Do your best acting in life and trust that the fabric of the universe will reflect back the warmth. Let the churches die a natural death. Walk away. Prove what you say. 

Jehova’s Witnesses handing out “Christian” literature

On why the Nazarene was primarily a metaphysician

There are no Christian Scientists in Ecuador. So while I was there I attended other churches. I’ve been doing this all my life. It is how I study Christians. Mostly, I attended the Jehova’s Witnesses churches. I tolerated the unbelievable arrogance of their men as long as I could until finally, I was at one of their meetings and the congregation was asked why they should follow Christ Jesus. Why was he our leader? I listened as long as I could in astonishment as one after another of them, man, woman, and children stood and recited different reasons. They knew I was a Christian Scientist, so I didn’t want to say anything, but it was like I was living in an alternative reality for about an hour. Not one word was said about the healings. Not one word.

Not willing to see the life of this man so disrespected, I stood and mentioned the fact that he healed people of many different physical maladies and that both he and his followers had raised people from the dead. My comments were tolerated. Barely.

In this section, I intend over time to build a complete list of the metaphysical marvels attributed to this man. It’s not as easy as you think. I know that I need to add the burning bush and especially the stories of his childhood to the list below.

Raising of Lazarus by Sebastiano del Piombo – National Gallery collection (NG1), London

Miracles do not happen in reality. To think so is to say, “my thoughts about the nature of reality are separate from my religious beliefs.” Miracles are a Catholic fabrication to explain away what they do not understand. And here it must be said, the concept of miracles releases so-called Christians from the responsibility to truly follow in the footsteps of the Nazarene. If he did something, that means you can do exactly the same thing, too. He said as much himself.

John 14:12
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
RUNTIME: 1:35:19
TITLE: Misquoting Jesus in the Bible – Professor Bart D. Ehrman
CHANNEL: Bart D. Ehrman
POSTED: November 3, 2013
VIEWS: 1,315,351 views as of March 1, 2021

Dr. Ehrman is a frustrated comic which makes many of his presentations annoying. This is him at his best. I have cut the video in half to get rid of the questions and answers following his presentation. This man simply must be heard, if for no other reason than to once and for all silence the lunatic Christians who defiantly (and I would add with no little narcissistic self-aggrandizement) announce to the word that the Bible is the “infallible word of God.” Unless you want to believe that Christ Jesus never lived, the one thing we know about him is that he healed people and was able to revive the dead. His disciples did this, too. It is also reported that he and one of his disciples (however briefly) walked on water. And even more amazing than loaves and fishes and walking on water, something not even Christians are willing to discuss, is John 6:21 in which we read “and immediately the ship was at the land whither they went.” The implication is that Christ Jesus teleported not only himself but the other men in the ship and the ship itself from the middle of the sea to the coastline.

This is all we know for sure about Christ Jesus and all we need to know. His exact words are of no consequence. The elephant in the room of Christianity is that the man we call Christ Jesus was a preeminent metaphysician

When he said, “If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you” or “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you,” what he was really saying is that the fabric of the universe is mental, not material.

No matter how long you stir the primordial soup,
dirt cannot think

The more I study the progeny of Jove, I become like them. All religion is an abomination. Christianity is no exception. The Christian Scientists have “God is Love” written all over their church buildings. Yet they hate me with a passion. Why? Because I speak the truth. The progeny of Jove, by which in this context I mean the bankers, are no better. ET sent one of their own two millennia before the end of this, the Fifth World. That this was something of a laboratory experiment for them is beyond question in my mind. The progeny of Jove killed him. Why? Because they cannot see beyond their love of numbers. They cannot admit that there is a conscious entity behind those numbers. And yet mathematics without Principle is a self-evident absurdity. That Principle is God, the One Mind, of which we are individualized expressions. On this basis, we too can heal. Metaphysics is the future of mankind, not technology. We think we must die and ascend up to some imaginary “heaven” before we can tap our mental ability to change matter through thought. This is not so. It can be done here and now because “in him [consciousness] we live, and move, and have our being.” Everything is mental. It is the job of eternity to explore the ramifications of this fact of being. And the beauty of it all is that if you have suffered in this dream of material life for not doing what the psychopaths do,—which is to mow down anything and everything that threatens to get in the way of their supposed happiness,—the Nazarene assures us “the last shall be first, and the first last.” Live simply in this world. It passes quickly. If you don’t think so, you need to spend more time with the elderly. There is great wisdom to be had caring for those the world has forgotten. I did and afterward, I was accused of taking advantage of an elderly woman, my Christian Science teacher. After 13 years by her side, I left with nothing but the shirt on my back. Let me tell you something. There is no greater lesson to be learned on this plane of existence than your “good be evil spoken of.” It is hard at first. But in the end, should this happen to you,—listen to me,—those tears are known to the fabric of the universe. Wisdom is your reward, a wisdom that cannot be otherwise had unless you experience this particular blessing. We live in a world of opposites. 

Matthew 14:22-36
And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone. But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased. Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

And when they were gone over, they came into the land of Gennesaret. And when the men of that place had knowledge of him, they sent out into all that country round about, and brought unto him all that were diseased; and besought him that they might only touch the hem of his garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole

Mark 6:45-56
And straightway he constrained his disciples to get into the ship, and to go to the other side before unto Bethsaida, while he sent away the people. And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray. And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them,walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them. But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out: for they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid. And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered. For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened. And when they had passed over, they came into the land of Gennesaret, and drew to the shore. And when they were come out of the ship, straightway they knew him, and ran through that whole region round about, and began to carry about in beds those that were sick, where they heard he was. And whithersoever he entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that they might touch if it were but the border of his garment: and as many as touched him were made whole
John 6:16-24
And when even was now come, his disciples went down unto the sea, and entered into a ship, and went over the sea toward Capernaum. And it was now dark, and Jesus was not come to them. And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. So when they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs, they see Jesus walking on the sea, and drawing nigh unto the ship: and they were afraid. But he saith unto them, It is I; be not afraid. Then they willingly received him into the ship: and immediately the ship was at the land whither they went. The day following, when the people which stood on the other side of the sea saw that there was none other boat there, save that one whereinto his disciples were entered, and that Jesus went not with his disciples into the boat, but that his disciples were gone away alone; (howbeit there came other boats from Tiberias nigh unto the place where they did eat bread, after that the Lord had given thanks:) when the people therefore saw that Jesus was not there, neither his disciples, they also took shipping, and came to Capernaum, seeking for Jesus